~Family Matters

As many of you are aware, Joshua and his siblings were raised in a turbulent household. To avoid disrespecting my in-laws, I will not relay every gory detail, but suffice it to say that there was much physical and mental abuse involved, partly due to severe drug abuse issues. Because of this, Joshua’s relationship with his parents had been strained for years. He loved and respected them, but there needed to be boundaries. He spoke to them on the phone and occasionally visited them, but we had decided that because of their dangerous lifestyle, contact would be limited. There have been many arguments and tense conversations over the years, as Joshua’s parents were obviously upset by this and denied their blatant involvement in drugs, etc. To make matters worse, Joshua had been very disappointed in their behavior throughout the diagnosis and treatments.  They still seemed to view him as, quite frankly, a dollar sign and not their son who needed love and support during a difficult period. He prayed for them frequently, begged them to go to church, pleaded with them to straighten out their lives . . . it felt as though nothing would ever change. One specific church that he had repeatedly asked them to visit was Pathway Vineyard, right close to where they live. They would promise to attend as a way to appease him, but it proved to only be empty promises. Things seemed to take a turn for the worst in their lives when Joshua’s father was involved in some sort of an altercation and badly injured. As a result, he had a pronounced limp and required a walking stick for assistance. One evening he was struggling to walk home (they did not own a vehicle at the time) when a black Escalade pulled over. The man inside asked him if he could give him a ride somewhere, and Joshua’s father gladly accepted. In a surprising turn of events, that man was a member of Pathway Vineyard Church. He felt prompted to help Joshua’s father that day, and he proceeded to visit he and Joshua’s mother weekly. He shared his faith with them and inspired them to evaluate their lives and the addictions that gripped them. They could not muster the strength to find help, so God brought it directly to them.

Joshua began to see a notable change in his father from that point on. Their relationship strengthened, and they had numerous encouraging phone conversations. In the past, Joshua’s father would react very defensively if any of his indescretions were brought up, but he became remarkably humbled. For the first time ever, he acknowledged the past abuse and his part in the family’s troubles. He admitted his drug addiction and feelings of helplessness and began to take steps toward rehabilitation. The formerly proud, defensive, angry man confessed his need for a Savior and a changed lifestyle. At the time, we did not realize that those would be his father’s last months on this earth, but God knew. Part of what changed his heart was watching his son walk out his faith during a tremendously tumultous time.

We watched as God ironed out so many issues during that summer of surgery and cancer treatments. Life was difficult and fear-inducing. The future was unknown. But God used all of it to His full advantage. He did things that we never imagined.

“And we know that in all things god works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.”Romans 8:28 NIV